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Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

Some articles to ponder, and new fruit!

What I’m reading today:

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/gratitude-vs-desire-finding-balance.html

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/finding-the-purpose-of-your-life.html

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/4-ways-to-make-lust-last.html

It’s drippy, and gray. I have lots to grade, which I suppose is ok; not much else to do anyway with Katie in Belize and the weather as it is, and exercise on hold. My energy’s down again today – not quite as much as yesterday, but still down. It’s strange not knowing what’s going on with my body. I was barely hungry for lunch today – I was hungry all through making it, but when I finally sat down to eat it, I almost had to force myself to eat. I wonder if I’m getting a little too used to blended foods….my smoothie was SO good this morning! Best in a while. Really fresh, ripe fruit: mango, kiwi, and a new one that’s from around here called a chicozapote:

I added chia seeds and shredded coconut and water and it was DELICIOUS.

If you have time to read any of the above articles, I’d love your thoughts/reactions.

xo

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feels like i’m in grad school again

Up late. Not sure yet, but it could be a rather late night. I’m working on my Pecha Kucha for Habla: http://www.pecha-kucha.org/

Not really feeling it – haven’t hit the sweet spot, not sure if it’s going to come. I forgot your mom and Bill were coming today! I was thinking tomorrow. How cool to have them there. I like imagining all of you, plus the cats, in your space. And moving!! So exciting! I wish I were there to help, to see the new place, to ‘christen’ it with you. 🙂

Thank you for your thoughts on frustration, love. I love being able to share things like that with you, things I’m not proud of. And hear your thoughtful, reflective response. Wish I could just meditate on that instead of this rubbish pecha whatever-kucha! Honestly the person I’m the most wanting to ‘impress’ is my sister, cause she’ll be there watching. The rest of the group – whatever. We all know each other, we all know how busy we all are and this thing is a little added bonus, a little unpaid work that we are all agreeing to do….why? Out of the idealism in our hearts, out of not wanting to let Kurt and Marimar down. Maybe it’ll be helpful, useful even, in the end. As long as I get some sleep tonight. Ok, back to work…

Addendum:

PS: Craving sweets. Haven’t felt this much on the ED or Cleanse, but now that it’s late, and it’s going to be much later soon, I’m craving chocolate, and sugar. Doesn’t help I just spent awhile looking at this website: http://coconutbliss.com/coconut-bliss-products/chocolate-hazelnut-fudge Is this brand of coconut ice cream available in DC? I don’t remember. On their website it sounds like it’s west coast? Well at least you have that other brand….have you been indulging since the cleanse started or no? ok back to work!!

 

I couldn’t figure out how to add a photo to a comment so i put the pic of mom and bill here:

Happy to see the morning! (bad dreams)

More bad dreams last night. This time, not teacher dreams, but all sorts of different things popping up – conflicts with my sister, you, a dog pooping on the rug, a girl I knew from grad school who kinda drove everyone crazy, my bike getting a flat and the bike shop wanting hundreds of dollars to fix it, being at my parents house and feeling stuck/time-warped. Emotionally intense, this one! I don’t want to describe it more thoroughly cause just before I woke up I ran through it all in my head again, still half-asleep, and it was so powerful it brought it all back. But the part about you and my sister was interesting, surprising, cause my sister and I had such a nice talk on Skype the other day, and nice texts last night. I’ll just describe that part, briefly. Katie and I had been sharing a bed at my parents house, like we sometimes do. You came to visit, and I was so excited, and it was time for bed and without thinking about it I took you to the room Katie and I had been sharing and we both got in bed with her – it was a reallly big bed, like a triple King size, so there was room for all of us without touching, it wasn’t weird like that. 😉 And I remarked, “Wow! I forgot how big and comfy this bed was!” And my sister nastily, in a tone she never uses, said, “Well YOU certainly have gotten a lot bigger,” and jumped out of the bed and left to go sleep in another room. It doesn’t sound that dramatic here! But in my dream it hit me like if she had slapped me. I instantly felt guilty and stupid for bringing you into the bed with her – of course you and I should have had our own bed, why didn’t I think of that before? And I couldn’t believe how mad she was, and that she would use that tone and insult me like that, when she and I NEVER talk to each other like that. I didn’t know what to do, but my happiness at being with you was ruined, I mean I couldn’t just enjoy it because I was hurt and worried about my sister, and yet I didn’t know what to do, so instead I left, to go fix my bike, while you waited for the pizza we ordered. The bike odyssey was it’s own series of loneliness and craziness, and mostly I was just trying to figure out what to do about my sister (and deal with my flat tire) while feeling guilty about leaving you for so long when you had come all that way to see me. Eventually I went home and you were there, with open arms, and though the pizza had come awhile before, you had kept it in the oven for me, and you weren’t mad at me for leaving, and this part of the dream was comforting, unlike the rest. OK THE END.

The point is, did you read the part in CLEAN about the bad dreams? We’re not even on the cleanse yet, and already I’ve had three that I remember in the past week – more than I usually remember in 6 months! Crazy, no? What is going on inside my/our brains?

I set the time stamp to reflect your time, not mine, so it’s actually an hour earlier than the post says. I’m going to get up and go to Slow Food to get some organic veggies! Yay! And then to yoga, and hopefully also to the eco-tienda to take back my carob powder I bought (has maltodextrin in it :() and THEN maybe down to centro to that health food/supplement store to find some magnesium…what are you doing today, love? How have your dreams been lately, if you remember them? I can’t wait to be walking in Rock Creek with you.

Love, me