what we like, think, do, wish, create

More bad dreams last night. This time, not teacher dreams, but all sorts of different things popping up – conflicts with my sister, you, a dog pooping on the rug, a girl I knew from grad school who kinda drove everyone crazy, my bike getting a flat and the bike shop wanting hundreds of dollars to fix it, being at my parents house and feeling stuck/time-warped. Emotionally intense, this one! I don’t want to describe it more thoroughly cause just before I woke up I ran through it all in my head again, still half-asleep, and it was so powerful it brought it all back. But the part about you and my sister was interesting, surprising, cause my sister and I had such a nice talk on Skype the other day, and nice texts last night. I’ll just describe that part, briefly. Katie and I had been sharing a bed at my parents house, like we sometimes do. You came to visit, and I was so excited, and it was time for bed and without thinking about it I took you to the room Katie and I had been sharing and we both got in bed with her – it was a reallly big bed, like a triple King size, so there was room for all of us without touching, it wasn’t weird like that. 😉 And I remarked, “Wow! I forgot how big and comfy this bed was!” And my sister nastily, in a tone she never uses, said, “Well YOU certainly have gotten a lot bigger,” and jumped out of the bed and left to go sleep in another room. It doesn’t sound that dramatic here! But in my dream it hit me like if she had slapped me. I instantly felt guilty and stupid for bringing you into the bed with her – of course you and I should have had our own bed, why didn’t I think of that before? And I couldn’t believe how mad she was, and that she would use that tone and insult me like that, when she and I NEVER talk to each other like that. I didn’t know what to do, but my happiness at being with you was ruined, I mean I couldn’t just enjoy it because I was hurt and worried about my sister, and yet I didn’t know what to do, so instead I left, to go fix my bike, while you waited for the pizza we ordered. The bike odyssey was it’s own series of loneliness and craziness, and mostly I was just trying to figure out what to do about my sister (and deal with my flat tire) while feeling guilty about leaving you for so long when you had come all that way to see me. Eventually I went home and you were there, with open arms, and though the pizza had come awhile before, you had kept it in the oven for me, and you weren’t mad at me for leaving, and this part of the dream was comforting, unlike the rest. OK THE END.

The point is, did you read the part in CLEAN about the bad dreams? We’re not even on the cleanse yet, and already I’ve had three that I remember in the past week – more than I usually remember in 6 months! Crazy, no? What is going on inside my/our brains?

I set the time stamp to reflect your time, not mine, so it’s actually an hour earlier than the post says. I’m going to get up and go to Slow Food to get some organic veggies! Yay! And then to yoga, and hopefully also to the eco-tienda to take back my carob powder I bought (has maltodextrin in it :() and THEN maybe down to centro to that health food/supplement store to find some magnesium…what are you doing today, love? How have your dreams been lately, if you remember them? I can’t wait to be walking in Rock Creek with you.

Love, me


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